Motherhood

Nothing prepares you for motherhood. The joys, the heartaches, the excitement, the worry, the anger, the happiness and the times when all those emotions are combined are all those things that you just have to experience yourself.

The things I have learned over the years: Regroup. Be flexible. Maintain sanity.

Not even all the interesting, inspiring and compelling words of wisdom and stories I heard growing up from my grandmother and my mother on being a mother were enough to prepare me for what a mother truly encounters and must be.

A mother must be a crafty mathematician. You must know how to calculate how much time it will take the feed the children, change the baby's diaper, get yourself ready....not to mention building in that extra time it may take to replace the clean clothes they were wearing for the day before they spilled their breakfast all over them and for the possible traffic jam in order to get everyone out the door, to the sitter and then get yourself to work on time.

And if one of them throws up as you are headed out the door?

Regroup. Be flexible. Maintain sanity.

(And later in life, the math comes in how much can I help him with his finances this month?)

A mother must be a good listener. From the “He's not sharing with me!” to the almost grown up “Mom, I've got a problem,” listening is a must to ascertain the next words, the next actions, the next piece of advice. A good gulp before responding really goes a long way.

A mother must share in her child's excitement, anxieties, heartaches, joys, and fears. Just being there to soothe, to listen, to cry along.

These are all tools to Regroup. Be flexible. Maintain sanity.

When your child falls, you pick her up. When your child cries, you tell him it's o.k., let it all out. When your child makes a mistake, you lovingly and firmly admonish her while providing support so the same mistakes aren't repeated. When your child collapses, you hold him and be strong for when the strength is regained.

You Regroup. You are flexible. You maintain sanity.

And after all this, you go to your room. You close your door. You sigh a big sigh. And you cry. You cry tears of joy; tears of grief; tears of sorrow; tears of relief; tears of sadness; tears of happiness. Then comes the smile.

You Regroup. Be flexible. Maintain your sanity.

Because it's cyclical. It's perpetual.  It's necessity.

You laugh, you cry, you laugh some more.

You move forward.

Nothing prepares you for motherhood.